Monday, 28 December 2009

Two week world tour 3: Kris’s wedding…and going to the ATM

Pretty much as soon as we arrived in Singapore we went out with Kris for the pre-wedding meal....of Dallas chicken! Memories of placement year in Tooting where for a period of several weeks Kris ate there every night! One opened recently round the corner from Woody’s new flat, although he reckons this had nothing to do with his decision to move there. Good job though given he's banned from Maccas following the stag do.

After this fine meal we went to an Irish pub until about 1.30am, drinking quite a lot of Guinness just to get free gifts (also just like the old days!). Luggage tags, a shoe bag and a sporty bag! It was suggested much earlier that we should go home but Kris wanted to watch the Lions game and insisted we stay. I didn't even argue because in my experience if the groom is insistent on staying out, there is nothing you can do (at least until he goes face first into the floor in a nightclub).

Was a good drinking effort, but we had to be up early so alarms were set for 7am as we had to leave at 7.45 to get to Perrie's. At least that’s what woody said, but he got a call at 7 saying the car was outside and where were we? We had to be at Perrie’s at 7.45, not leave then. Good work Kris! But we were all showered and changed in 20 minutes although none of us felt that great. On arrival at Perrie's, just to get let in, Kris had to hand out several red packets with money in, and eat various things including durian, a fruit which smells horrible. In our fragile states, it may have got messy if we'd had to eat more than a token mouthful.

Finally Kris secured us entry to Perrie's flat, but he than had to come up with a load of flattering sentences involving a pre-determined words beginning with each of A-Z before he could actually see Perrie. Highly amusing and not as flattering as they could have been either! Various tea serving ceremonies involving Perrie's family then ensued before it was off back to Woody's where there were further tea ceremonies involving Woody's folks this time.

After that it was back to Perrie's for lunch. Me, al and Nathan who Kris works with were the 'brothers' for the day and on the way we said to our driver, Perrie's uncle (I think) that we needed to go to an ATM, but this was just an elaborate ploy to go to McDonalds as by this point we were desperate for greasy food to relieve our hangovers. Sorted us out nicely too, and we were just in time before they stopped serving breakfast! Don't think we've ever eaten a McMuffin as quick before. Perrie's uncle, who was parked round the corner suspected something but we just about pulled it off! Kris wasn't happy because he was absolutely desperate for some McFood too! If only we'd caught the moment we told him on camera. Going to the ATM is now the euphemism for going to Macca's!

After lunch we had a few hours off and Al had the cracking idea that we had to uphold at least one English wedding we went and bought a Toaster as a wedding present!

The evening kicked off with the formal wedding least it did when the solemniser turned up as he forgot about it to start with so was almost an hour late.

The 9 course mostly fish meal then started and there was a photo montage including plenty of embarrassing photos of Kris when he was young. I was on MC’ing duty. On the crib sheet it said that pronouncing names right is vital as it can cause great offence - oh dear. As was pointed out, my very presence was probably causing enough offence, so this wasn‘t good. I had to pronounce Leong Tak Seng, but there were no gasps so I think I did ok.

During the meal there were various loud toasts where you say "yam sing" or something like that. This involves shouting "yam" for a long time, then "sing" very quickly at the end. Statto would be able to explain as we called him later and did one.

Some of Perrie's friends and family marvelled at how much the western folk were drinking, hardly surprising given that during the meal me and Al had both red wine and beer on the go, both of which were constantly being topped up! In fact pretty much any time our glasses weren't full someone came and topped them up so thanks to Kris for having the waiters so well drilled.

After the meal we headed off to some bar and danced like idiots. I think me and Al only left in the end because we'd ran out of money. Getting back to Woody’s, Al passed out on Woody’s sofa (again) but luckily I had the presence of mind (again) to get photos.

And that was pretty much it. Was an absolutely top day and me and Al thoroughly enjoyed it, so cheers Kris and thanks for the honour of being brother, brother.

Like with Ninja's wedding, Jamie said I should get a photo of me pointing at the happy couple, but apparently pointing in considered offensive in Chinese culture. How rude Jamie. Bet you suggested I do that deliberately. Will have to make do with this.

Next day we just chilled out around Singapore - at least as much as you can chill when it’s 35 degrees and humid - before flying back to Sydney that night. Arrived in Sydney early morning and went straight to work pretty knackered - needed a holiday to recover.

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